To be seen...to truly be seen...for who you are rather than who others want you to be.
To be acknowledged for what you offer in the world when you are most fully you.
It feels great! And it engages the soul in powerful ways.
Truly connecting for real is about knowing yourself, and seeing and also demonstrating your appreciation of others ---verbally --- to them. I must admit, I am often stunned at how rarely people validate the value of others.
And yet, when people are validated and feel valued, life shifts for all.
It might feel awkward at first if you are not accustomed to recognizing the deeper contributions of people around you. But, once you begin, you might be amazed at the connections, however brief, that you create. If you want to achieve your dream, it is crucial that you look out, see and acknowledge others.
As you go through the day...at work, at the store, with your children or your partner, notice what they bring to life. How do they enrich your life, and the lives of others? Then acknowledge them. It is such a rarity to be seen and acknowledged by others.
A quick note—an acknowledgement is different than a compliment.
When you compliment someone, you praise them for something they've done well. You might compliment them on an item of clothing they’ve chosen or a job well done. "Nice job on the dishes." "Nice tie!" "Good job on that paper." In each case you’re complimenting an action.
An acknowledgement recognizes the contribution someone makes—the impact they have when they bring their SELF to what they do.
Examples might be:
- "The care you took with this report is really special. I am honored that you would take the extra time."
- "Your courage to speak up when you felt others were being disrespected changed the tone of the meeting."
At first the difference may seem elusive. But, compliments and acknowledgements are fundamentally and powerfully different. When you verbally recognize how someone 'shows up' to enrich life for themselves and others, you begin to cross over to the world of inspiring connection.
HERE ARE A FEW TIPS:
- Only acknowledge someone when you really mean it. Make a habit of finding the good in others. You may be the first person who's ever recognized their contributions. Get ready—you could be offering an extraordinary gift for that person because they rarely hear something positive about themselves from others.
- Acknowledge who they had to be in order to accomplish it. Recognize a person's values, such as perseverance, understanding, commitment, loyalty, humor, acceptance, creativity or courage.
- Be direct in your praise. "It meant a lot to me that...." Or, "I appreciate you for…." You might assume that the people in your life know you appreciate them, but don't leave them wondering.
- Say so.
My challenge to you:
Acknowledge three people today.
And remember, your acknowledgements don't have to be huge. They just have to be true.
Enjoy!
