It can be such a blow to your ego to lose your job ... even (and sometimes, especially) when you felt trapped by your work.
There can be such a stigma to being laid off, down-sized or terminated. Historically people who got fired were people who were not very good at what they did. When we are terminated, we carry with us so many judgments of not being good enough or worse, the outcast.
Recently, with the market in a tumble, two friends secretly confided in me that they had been terminated. They didn't want anyone to know. Interestingly, they know each other ... and neither knows the other is out of work.
It is so stressful simply not to have work ... and then, adding the pressure of keeping it hidden can over burden an already taxed nervous system. Perhaps, for various reasons, you need to keep it hush-hush. But, please be compassionate to yourself. Make sure you surround yourself with people who can support you and nourish your spirit.
And, be ready, you might find yourself very tired. Or, conversely, hyper focused. My invitation. Take time for you. Be careful you don't nap your way into a downward spiral of despair. At the same time, be careful not to busy yourself into such a state of denial that you don't take time to assess what you really want.
For today... pamper yourself with a hot bath, a good movie or just time with friends.
...
Sunday, March 1, 2009
DAY 9: The Naked Truth: People are the gateway to your dream!
Before we enter the next phase ...
What was it like to acknowledge others?
What happened when you let yourself act without the filter of life's typical ‘politeness’ and connected with someone for real?
Acknowledging others is truly a fabulous gift of recognition and appreciation. The impact is undeniably powerful. And yet, people are so hesitant to do so.
I learned at a very young age the impact of not connecting. As a child of a military family we were constantly on the move. If you didn't reach out, you could easily go unseen and lost within the maze of life.
By high school, these moves began to take their toll on me. For years I was one of those kids at the back of the school, leaning against the cold brick wall, sucking deeply on their cigarettes and avoiding eye contact? As a shy kid, I found this much easier than trying to fit in. All the other kids seemed so 'in' with someone. It just felt safer to stay hidden.
And then, during one summer break from college, I worked as a waitress in Ocean City with a few close friends. Between the thrill of riding the surf, college antics and the tourist intrigue, life finally began! Everywhere I went, there were new people ready for fun.
At the restaurant, it didn't take much to make a fun connection. A question about my customer's day would ignite stories about their family. A comment about their appetite would start a wrestling match of friendly jabs. They would come back and ask for me, again and again.
And, the great part: my tips soared!
I quickly realized that people were craving connection. It didn't matter whether they were alone or in a group (well, except for some couples)—what really made their night was when I took the time to be curious and really connect with them.
So, let's take another day to acknowledging people.
Why?
People are the gateway to your dream—not just because you need the job, but because you connect out of curiosity and life delight.
As you begin to create your 'dream list,' it will be key that you can relate to others, truly see them, and feel their needs. So, before a job is on the line, practice connecting today.
If your work seems like too intimidating a place to practice, take a field trip to a new store. Strangers make great guinea pigs. They will never see you again, so don't be timid. You might just find that by validating them, you will believe more fully in yourself.
And for those of you who'd like inspiration on the power of validation, I invite you to check out this short film. It's about 15 minutes long. http://www.flixxy.com/validation-short-film.htm?a=0
What was it like to acknowledge others?
What happened when you let yourself act without the filter of life's typical ‘politeness’ and connected with someone for real?
Acknowledging others is truly a fabulous gift of recognition and appreciation. The impact is undeniably powerful. And yet, people are so hesitant to do so.
I learned at a very young age the impact of not connecting. As a child of a military family we were constantly on the move. If you didn't reach out, you could easily go unseen and lost within the maze of life.
By high school, these moves began to take their toll on me. For years I was one of those kids at the back of the school, leaning against the cold brick wall, sucking deeply on their cigarettes and avoiding eye contact? As a shy kid, I found this much easier than trying to fit in. All the other kids seemed so 'in' with someone. It just felt safer to stay hidden.
And then, during one summer break from college, I worked as a waitress in Ocean City with a few close friends. Between the thrill of riding the surf, college antics and the tourist intrigue, life finally began! Everywhere I went, there were new people ready for fun.
At the restaurant, it didn't take much to make a fun connection. A question about my customer's day would ignite stories about their family. A comment about their appetite would start a wrestling match of friendly jabs. They would come back and ask for me, again and again.
And, the great part: my tips soared!
I quickly realized that people were craving connection. It didn't matter whether they were alone or in a group (well, except for some couples)—what really made their night was when I took the time to be curious and really connect with them.
So, let's take another day to acknowledging people.
Why?
People are the gateway to your dream—not just because you need the job, but because you connect out of curiosity and life delight.
As you begin to create your 'dream list,' it will be key that you can relate to others, truly see them, and feel their needs. So, before a job is on the line, practice connecting today.
If your work seems like too intimidating a place to practice, take a field trip to a new store. Strangers make great guinea pigs. They will never see you again, so don't be timid. You might just find that by validating them, you will believe more fully in yourself.
And for those of you who'd like inspiration on the power of validation, I invite you to check out this short film. It's about 15 minutes long. http://www.flixxy.com/validation-short-film.htm?a=0
Saturday, February 28, 2009
DAY 8: To See and be Seen—The Gift of Validating
Ah...
To be seen...to truly be seen...for who you are rather than who others want you to be.
To be acknowledged for what you offer in the world when you are most fully you.
It feels great! And it engages the soul in powerful ways.
Truly connecting for real is about knowing yourself, and seeing and also demonstrating your appreciation of others ---verbally --- to them. I must admit, I am often stunned at how rarely people validate the value of others.
And yet, when people are validated and feel valued, life shifts for all.
It might feel awkward at first if you are not accustomed to recognizing the deeper contributions of people around you. But, once you begin, you might be amazed at the connections, however brief, that you create. If you want to achieve your dream, it is crucial that you look out, see and acknowledge others.
As you go through the day...at work, at the store, with your children or your partner, notice what they bring to life. How do they enrich your life, and the lives of others? Then acknowledge them. It is such a rarity to be seen and acknowledged by others.
A quick note—an acknowledgement is different than a compliment.
When you compliment someone, you praise them for something they've done well. You might compliment them on an item of clothing they’ve chosen or a job well done. "Nice job on the dishes." "Nice tie!" "Good job on that paper." In each case you’re complimenting an action.
An acknowledgement recognizes the contribution someone makes—the impact they have when they bring their SELF to what they do.
Examples might be:
At first the difference may seem elusive. But, compliments and acknowledgements are fundamentally and powerfully different. When you verbally recognize how someone 'shows up' to enrich life for themselves and others, you begin to cross over to the world of inspiring connection.
HERE ARE A FEW TIPS:
My challenge to you:
Acknowledge three people today.
And remember, your acknowledgements don't have to be huge. They just have to be true.
Enjoy!
To be seen...to truly be seen...for who you are rather than who others want you to be.
To be acknowledged for what you offer in the world when you are most fully you.
It feels great! And it engages the soul in powerful ways.
Truly connecting for real is about knowing yourself, and seeing and also demonstrating your appreciation of others ---verbally --- to them. I must admit, I am often stunned at how rarely people validate the value of others.
And yet, when people are validated and feel valued, life shifts for all.
It might feel awkward at first if you are not accustomed to recognizing the deeper contributions of people around you. But, once you begin, you might be amazed at the connections, however brief, that you create. If you want to achieve your dream, it is crucial that you look out, see and acknowledge others.
As you go through the day...at work, at the store, with your children or your partner, notice what they bring to life. How do they enrich your life, and the lives of others? Then acknowledge them. It is such a rarity to be seen and acknowledged by others.
A quick note—an acknowledgement is different than a compliment.
When you compliment someone, you praise them for something they've done well. You might compliment them on an item of clothing they’ve chosen or a job well done. "Nice job on the dishes." "Nice tie!" "Good job on that paper." In each case you’re complimenting an action.
An acknowledgement recognizes the contribution someone makes—the impact they have when they bring their SELF to what they do.
Examples might be:
- "The care you took with this report is really special. I am honored that you would take the extra time."
- "Your courage to speak up when you felt others were being disrespected changed the tone of the meeting."
At first the difference may seem elusive. But, compliments and acknowledgements are fundamentally and powerfully different. When you verbally recognize how someone 'shows up' to enrich life for themselves and others, you begin to cross over to the world of inspiring connection.
HERE ARE A FEW TIPS:
- Only acknowledge someone when you really mean it. Make a habit of finding the good in others. You may be the first person who's ever recognized their contributions. Get ready—you could be offering an extraordinary gift for that person because they rarely hear something positive about themselves from others.
- Acknowledge who they had to be in order to accomplish it. Recognize a person's values, such as perseverance, understanding, commitment, loyalty, humor, acceptance, creativity or courage.
- Be direct in your praise. "It meant a lot to me that...." Or, "I appreciate you for…." You might assume that the people in your life know you appreciate them, but don't leave them wondering.
- Say so.
My challenge to you:
Acknowledge three people today.
And remember, your acknowledgements don't have to be huge. They just have to be true.
Enjoy!
Friday, February 27, 2009
DAY 7: Naming Your Wizardry
Now that you’re bringing the spice back into your life, it’s a good time to take a fearless inventory of 10 to 15 things you already do exquisitely well without even trying. It could be anything from cooking to community building. Just make sure they are ones that you truly enjoy.
Let’s start with creating a list of 10 things you do do with absolute ease. Try not to judge them. Think about what you do to relax. What do you wish you had more time to do? What you do to de-stress?
For example: I love ---
All too often I notice that people have been taught to believe that their 'work' doesn't need to reflect their essential self. For people who are seeking greater meaning in their work, taking time to identify what parts aren't being fully honored can begin to help you identify at direction of focus.
As you do, get ready. some may be literal, others metaphorical. What's I've found is that the more you honor these qualities in your work, the more rewarding your work --- both personally and financially.
As you begin to look at your list start to notice how many of those qualities are a priority. Which ones need to be honored more in your work? Which ones are more for your personal self-care?
When I started to do this process, I realized just how important it was for me to work in a collaborative way ... every day. Because of my creative passions, working with people wanting to design new visions was a perfect blend of collaboration, resourcing and designing concepts and visions.
How do yours weave together?
..
Let’s start with creating a list of 10 things you do do with absolute ease. Try not to judge them. Think about what you do to relax. What do you wish you had more time to do? What you do to de-stress?
For example: I love ---
- Hanging out
- hunting for things.
- finding resources
- trying new ideas
- co- creating with others
- creating relaxing spaces
- taking long walks
- writing
- talking to strangers
- designing and creating
All too often I notice that people have been taught to believe that their 'work' doesn't need to reflect their essential self. For people who are seeking greater meaning in their work, taking time to identify what parts aren't being fully honored can begin to help you identify at direction of focus.
As you do, get ready. some may be literal, others metaphorical. What's I've found is that the more you honor these qualities in your work, the more rewarding your work --- both personally and financially.
As you begin to look at your list start to notice how many of those qualities are a priority. Which ones need to be honored more in your work? Which ones are more for your personal self-care?
When I started to do this process, I realized just how important it was for me to work in a collaborative way ... every day. Because of my creative passions, working with people wanting to design new visions was a perfect blend of collaboration, resourcing and designing concepts and visions.
How do yours weave together?
..
Thursday, February 26, 2009
DAY 6: Oops! How Did That Get Lost in My Life?
Now that you've exposed your Unabashed Self, it's time to take it out of the lost & found and bring it to life!
Yes, it may have been lost for a while...tossed in the back of the closet, overshadowed by the expectations of the day. So what?
As of today, it's time to take your Unabashed Self out, shake off the dust and let it loose in the world. Show up! Be seen! Expose yourself. You might be amazed at what happens.
Why is this so vital?
What happens with many people in their quest to connect, with themselves and others, is that they place unrealistic expectations on others to fulfill parts they have repressed, dampened, and, for some, practically extinguished. They keep playing out old patterns and expect different results. Sound familiar?
The truth is...you are only as lost as you allow yourself to be. Yes, it may feel vulnerable to expose yourself. But when you couple your uniqueness with respect for others, you might just be amazed at the results! Today, commit to recognizing what you already have, trusting who you already are and connecting from that place!
I had one client who is smart, funny, caring and quite dynamic. She did her very best not to rock the boat...to the point where she often dismissed her Self and then was surprised at how others seem to get what they want in life... and she seemed to get left behind. Well, as you can imagine she started to get pretty pissed off. That's when she came to me! As she started to take risks and honor herself more fully, she began to see that it was her own self dismissal that kept her back. With each risk she took to be 'seen', she gained more respect and, well, more success!
I've yet to meet a successful, satisfied person who did not rock the boat at times. It's part of leading the way. (The important point is to lead with intention toward a vision of purpose.)
Back to my client—she and I made these bets. I rarely make bets with my clients but I was so sure about her compelling nature, that I'd take seemingly big risks. She'd say "Carolyn, you're willing to bet that?"
"Yes," I say, "without a doubt."
Each time she'd take on the bet, she'd come back laughing, "I did it, you were right, and you won't believe what happened!" It is quite exciting to witness her reclaiming herself!
If we don't live our strengths, our gifts, our seemingly odd selves...how can we expect others to connect fully with us?
______________________________________________________
Ready?
Let's get real.
________________________________
Here's today's challenge.
Take the lid off somewhere. You don't have to go over the top...unless you do...but here’s my invitation: let the Self you've been repressing out in the world.
You can do this anywhere, at the gas station, in the grocery store, with a friend, as you dance, at work—it just has to be somewhere in life with people, not in your head or in your journal!
As you go about your day, where can you add it in?
As you do, notice:
What is it like to take the lid off?
If you let your Unabashed Self out more, how might it enrich your life?
Yes, it may have been lost for a while...tossed in the back of the closet, overshadowed by the expectations of the day. So what?
As of today, it's time to take your Unabashed Self out, shake off the dust and let it loose in the world. Show up! Be seen! Expose yourself. You might be amazed at what happens.
Why is this so vital?
What happens with many people in their quest to connect, with themselves and others, is that they place unrealistic expectations on others to fulfill parts they have repressed, dampened, and, for some, practically extinguished. They keep playing out old patterns and expect different results. Sound familiar?
The truth is...you are only as lost as you allow yourself to be. Yes, it may feel vulnerable to expose yourself. But when you couple your uniqueness with respect for others, you might just be amazed at the results! Today, commit to recognizing what you already have, trusting who you already are and connecting from that place!
I had one client who is smart, funny, caring and quite dynamic. She did her very best not to rock the boat...to the point where she often dismissed her Self and then was surprised at how others seem to get what they want in life... and she seemed to get left behind. Well, as you can imagine she started to get pretty pissed off. That's when she came to me! As she started to take risks and honor herself more fully, she began to see that it was her own self dismissal that kept her back. With each risk she took to be 'seen', she gained more respect and, well, more success!
I've yet to meet a successful, satisfied person who did not rock the boat at times. It's part of leading the way. (The important point is to lead with intention toward a vision of purpose.)
Back to my client—she and I made these bets. I rarely make bets with my clients but I was so sure about her compelling nature, that I'd take seemingly big risks. She'd say "Carolyn, you're willing to bet that?"
"Yes," I say, "without a doubt."
Each time she'd take on the bet, she'd come back laughing, "I did it, you were right, and you won't believe what happened!" It is quite exciting to witness her reclaiming herself!
If we don't live our strengths, our gifts, our seemingly odd selves...how can we expect others to connect fully with us?
______________________________________________________
Ready?
Let's get real.
- What part of your Self do you most enjoy and bring to life with ease in the world?
- What happens when you do?
- What parts of your Self have you suppressed and repressed and are dying to be seen?
- Where are you living outdated beliefs or other people’s stories about you?
- What side of your Self do you keep a 'lid on' for fear of judgment?
________________________________
Here's today's challenge.
Take the lid off somewhere. You don't have to go over the top...unless you do...but here’s my invitation: let the Self you've been repressing out in the world.
You can do this anywhere, at the gas station, in the grocery store, with a friend, as you dance, at work—it just has to be somewhere in life with people, not in your head or in your journal!
As you go about your day, where can you add it in?
As you do, notice:
What is it like to take the lid off?
If you let your Unabashed Self out more, how might it enrich your life?
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
DAY 5: Your Most Unabashed Self
Ahh...and now for the delight of the spirit...bringing your full, Unabashed Self to your everyday life!
Before you begin, if you haven't named what you want to manifest this year, take a moment to do so. (I'd suggest no more than 5 things).
You may even want to hang up a sign or poster you can see it every day. Some people go so far as to frame their vision statements, or create a vision board. On the other hand, I have clients and friends who prefer to tuck them away in a special spot and periodically revisit them, like cherished treasures. Do what works best for you and helps you move forward.
And ... here's the most important part to remember!
Naming what you want is REALLY important, BUT...in order to succeed in a way that is personally enriching, it is so essential to allow your Unabashed Self out...into the world.
What is your Unabashed Self?
This is the part of you that feels vibrant, alive and is truly allowed to 'show up' in the world. It is the part of you that is often dampened by unrealistic expectations, self doubt and trying to do what's 'right' instead of what is true to you.
One way to reclaim your Unabashed Self is to go back in your life and remember moments when you felt alive and well, engaged and potent with life.
These may be exciting joyous moments. They may also be challenging times when you weren't sure how you would make it through, and yet you did. Some may also be soul-wrenching, life-altering experiences. So, leave your critic outside and settle in for a soul ride to Wonderland.
Some examples clients have shared:
Take a moment to sink into your life essence. Breathe into into. Fall back into your life and allow yourself to remember times when you felt alive and in charge.
Write down 10-15 moments.
Then circle your top 6.
Beneath each, name the part of you that came to life in that moment.
I like using the format below, but use whatever format serves you best. Just don't ponder and analyze—let your first impulse guide you.
SOME EXAMPLES OF MY MOMENTS:
A moment when I felt alive: When I marched against aparteid in Johannesburg.
What came to life: My commitment to justice. My sense of solidarity.
Another moment when I felt alive: When I taught my first workshop to 50 people.
What came to life: Sense of connection, sharing my knowledge and watching people transform.
And please, write your moments down. This act of writing allows you to see them from a new perspective. It also gives your mind, spirit and body to work in union to re-member what it important in your life. .
As you begin to write you might notice that a pattern may emerge. You might begin to see what is essential to your core being --- and perhaps parts of you that have been suppressed or dormant for a very long time.
As you do explore these moments, try not to ‘therapize’ them. There is no right or wrong.
That's it.
Allow your spirit to re-member itself in the grandeur of life's dance!
>>>>>>>>>
Before you begin, if you haven't named what you want to manifest this year, take a moment to do so. (I'd suggest no more than 5 things).
You may even want to hang up a sign or poster you can see it every day. Some people go so far as to frame their vision statements, or create a vision board. On the other hand, I have clients and friends who prefer to tuck them away in a special spot and periodically revisit them, like cherished treasures. Do what works best for you and helps you move forward.
And ... here's the most important part to remember!
Naming what you want is REALLY important, BUT...in order to succeed in a way that is personally enriching, it is so essential to allow your Unabashed Self out...into the world.
What is your Unabashed Self?
This is the part of you that feels vibrant, alive and is truly allowed to 'show up' in the world. It is the part of you that is often dampened by unrealistic expectations, self doubt and trying to do what's 'right' instead of what is true to you.
One way to reclaim your Unabashed Self is to go back in your life and remember moments when you felt alive and well, engaged and potent with life.
These may be exciting joyous moments. They may also be challenging times when you weren't sure how you would make it through, and yet you did. Some may also be soul-wrenching, life-altering experiences. So, leave your critic outside and settle in for a soul ride to Wonderland.
Some examples clients have shared:
- Jumping off waterfalls
- Sitting at the top of a mountain watching a sunset
- The moment their daughter was born
- The feeling when their boyfriend slid the ring on her finger and asked her to marry him
- Sitting with their mother as she died, facing a parent who had betrayed their trust.
Take a moment to sink into your life essence. Breathe into into. Fall back into your life and allow yourself to remember times when you felt alive and in charge.
Write down 10-15 moments.
Then circle your top 6.
Beneath each, name the part of you that came to life in that moment.
I like using the format below, but use whatever format serves you best. Just don't ponder and analyze—let your first impulse guide you.
SOME EXAMPLES OF MY MOMENTS:
A moment when I felt alive: When I marched against aparteid in Johannesburg.
What came to life: My commitment to justice. My sense of solidarity.
Another moment when I felt alive: When I taught my first workshop to 50 people.
What came to life: Sense of connection, sharing my knowledge and watching people transform.
And please, write your moments down. This act of writing allows you to see them from a new perspective. It also gives your mind, spirit and body to work in union to re-member what it important in your life. .
As you begin to write you might notice that a pattern may emerge. You might begin to see what is essential to your core being --- and perhaps parts of you that have been suppressed or dormant for a very long time.
As you do explore these moments, try not to ‘therapize’ them. There is no right or wrong.
That's it.
Allow your spirit to re-member itself in the grandeur of life's dance!
>>>>>>>>>
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
DAY 4: Moving Beyond Fear
Let’s take a look at your list goals and thoughts from yesterday.
Which of your thoughts seem most self honoring?
Which tend to be fear based?
For me, I like to get the fears out of the way...fast...so I can focus on what I really want!
Here’s an example of my fear list:
And now... the important list ...
Here’s my fact list to help me get past the fears:
Dee Hock, the founder of Visa and author of Birth of the Chaortic Age has a great simple guide to changing the paradigm of creating with intention. (And do remember, this was THE GUY who founded visa in a very linear industry).
In his chapter entitled Quite Ordinary People he writes, "Years of watching ordinary people consistently do extraordinary things when their spirit was challenged and their ingenuity released - has given me confidence in the infinite capacity of every individual. One need not have a precise plan. One need not know exactly what can be accomplished. Instead, in this complex, rapidly changing world, a clear sense of direction and compelling principles used in pursuit of it are far more effective than detailed plans and outlined objective."
So, for me, instead of creating detailed plans .... I set a clear sense of direction by focusing my attention on what I aim to achieve this year. Often I have no idea how it will come about, I just set my sights on doing it. Then I begin to look for opportunities and connections.
MY CLEAR SENSE OF DIRECTION:
To achieve this, I know I MUST honor my time and my self!
MY COMPELLING PRINCIPLES TO FOCUS MY ATTENTION.
________________
Now it's your turn…
• What are your fears?
• List your self honoring beliefs ... greater than any of the fears?
• Name your direction.
• List your compelling principles and actions to manifest your vision.
My suggestion...keep them short! For those of you who like to ponder forever, set a timer and hold to it. This is not life therapy...it's time to get focused and connect for real, with what you really want...so you're not wasting your vital life energy.
---------
Which of your thoughts seem most self honoring?
Which tend to be fear based?
For me, I like to get the fears out of the way...fast...so I can focus on what I really want!
Here’s an example of my fear list:
- Fear of others' fear about the economy. How to help them stay steady, focused and connected.
- Not enough time in a day. This is the big challenge. Maybe I need to accept this more, rather than fight it. I have such an appetite for creating fun, interactive ways to succeed and build community. Don't have time to do everything I want to do!
- How to keep up and make time for more fun in life!
And now... the important list ...
Here’s my fact list to help me get past the fears:
- When others are in fear, it more important than ever to stay grounded and clear.
- I have many projects. I just need to prioritize.
- I have lots of follow-up to do.
- I do need more assistance. **That is a top priority!
- Need to work with people committed to succeed at their passion...even through their fear. People who see business as an opportunity to make a difference, not just make a living.
Dee Hock, the founder of Visa and author of Birth of the Chaortic Age has a great simple guide to changing the paradigm of creating with intention. (And do remember, this was THE GUY who founded visa in a very linear industry).
In his chapter entitled Quite Ordinary People he writes, "Years of watching ordinary people consistently do extraordinary things when their spirit was challenged and their ingenuity released - has given me confidence in the infinite capacity of every individual. One need not have a precise plan. One need not know exactly what can be accomplished. Instead, in this complex, rapidly changing world, a clear sense of direction and compelling principles used in pursuit of it are far more effective than detailed plans and outlined objective."
So, for me, instead of creating detailed plans .... I set a clear sense of direction by focusing my attention on what I aim to achieve this year. Often I have no idea how it will come about, I just set my sights on doing it. Then I begin to look for opportunities and connections.
MY CLEAR SENSE OF DIRECTION:
- Work with people who are truly ready to take their career & business to the next level.
- Speak internationally with leaders and business owners.
- Triple my connections with consultants and healers providing tools to gain success.
- Do more art with others to nourish a creative, quiet approach to life
To achieve this, I know I MUST honor my time and my self!
MY COMPELLING PRINCIPLES TO FOCUS MY ATTENTION.
- I will focus my attention on people who believe in success, regardless of the times.
- I will unabashedly challenge, support and push people to live their life, their way.
- I will create a balance of work & play
- I will focus my message.
- I will take a moment each day to open my awareness to new opportunities.
________________
Now it's your turn…
• What are your fears?
• List your self honoring beliefs ... greater than any of the fears?
• Name your direction.
• List your compelling principles and actions to manifest your vision.
My suggestion...keep them short! For those of you who like to ponder forever, set a timer and hold to it. This is not life therapy...it's time to get focused and connect for real, with what you really want...so you're not wasting your vital life energy.
---------
Monday, February 23, 2009
DAY 3: Wisdom of Vision: Crafting Your Goals
Athena, the Greek goddess of wisdom and heroes, was often portrayed with an owl companion—her wisdom guide.
To me, it is astounding that owls can see through the blackest of nights.Using owl wisdom allows you to see through confusion and into the heart of desire, and to act with deftness and clarity.
Now that you've had a day to ponder your professional dreams, it’s time to take a look at those dreams and the questions you have about achieving your vision.
When I look at my list of dreams, I like to think as the owl, seeing into my deeper truth, and focus on the heart of my vision. As I reflect on my thoughts about each, I take earnest pause for each --- which are fears or outdated beliefs, which are—simply—fantasies. And most importantly, which are the ones that I am ready to honor, no matter what.
Let's take a moment and write your 'dreams' as goals.
A quick note—a goal can be seen through the lens of a camera. It is measurable and specific. Here are my professional goals for 2009 and thoughts I had about them.
***You may be tempted to skip this step, but please don't. It is the foundation of manifesting what you want. In this instant soup culture, it is hard to put things aside and give your Self and your dream the attention they deserve. For those of you with the day off, settle in with a cup of tea. For those of you off to work, do so when you have time this evening, or at lunch. ***
Listing Your Professional Goals (or committed desires if this works better for you) & Thoughts:
Here are examples of mine:
Goal: Be easy & strong in all that I do. Enjoy the process!
Goal: To double my work with progressive leaders of non-profits, organizations and individuals wanting a personal, creative approach to business—with on-site retreats, keynotes and coaching. Travel abroad.
Goal: Partner with leading community resources in new, exciting ways... artful visioning, tele-seminars.
Goal: Produce on-line products that provide new visioning and outreach tool for organizations, schools and individuals who want a personal, community-based approach to business.
Goal: Get people to realize that the linear approach to business is not the only 'way'!
Listing my thoughts:
Thoughts: What will I need to let go of to do this? The second goal is still vague.
Where to focus my attention first? How to navigate all the issues regarding economic fears?
Thoughts: Time seems to slip through my fingers like water. What support do I need? Who can help me do all this without it taking a lot of time to explain?
Thoughts: I've love having more time to work on my projects; now I need to find a system of support.
More thoughts: my mantra: Easy & Strong—how to keep this present?
Now it’s your turn. You may find yourself rewriting your goals and thoughts. So get ready to scribble a bit.
What are your dreams, written as goals?
What thoughts come up for you?
Hmmmm...what would Owl say?
To me, it is astounding that owls can see through the blackest of nights.Using owl wisdom allows you to see through confusion and into the heart of desire, and to act with deftness and clarity.
Now that you've had a day to ponder your professional dreams, it’s time to take a look at those dreams and the questions you have about achieving your vision.
When I look at my list of dreams, I like to think as the owl, seeing into my deeper truth, and focus on the heart of my vision. As I reflect on my thoughts about each, I take earnest pause for each --- which are fears or outdated beliefs, which are—simply—fantasies. And most importantly, which are the ones that I am ready to honor, no matter what.
Let's take a moment and write your 'dreams' as goals.
A quick note—a goal can be seen through the lens of a camera. It is measurable and specific. Here are my professional goals for 2009 and thoughts I had about them.
***You may be tempted to skip this step, but please don't. It is the foundation of manifesting what you want. In this instant soup culture, it is hard to put things aside and give your Self and your dream the attention they deserve. For those of you with the day off, settle in with a cup of tea. For those of you off to work, do so when you have time this evening, or at lunch. ***
Listing Your Professional Goals (or committed desires if this works better for you) & Thoughts:
Here are examples of mine:
Goal: Be easy & strong in all that I do. Enjoy the process!
Goal: To double my work with progressive leaders of non-profits, organizations and individuals wanting a personal, creative approach to business—with on-site retreats, keynotes and coaching. Travel abroad.
Goal: Partner with leading community resources in new, exciting ways... artful visioning, tele-seminars.
Goal: Produce on-line products that provide new visioning and outreach tool for organizations, schools and individuals who want a personal, community-based approach to business.
Goal: Get people to realize that the linear approach to business is not the only 'way'!
Listing my thoughts:
Thoughts: What will I need to let go of to do this? The second goal is still vague.
Where to focus my attention first? How to navigate all the issues regarding economic fears?
Thoughts: Time seems to slip through my fingers like water. What support do I need? Who can help me do all this without it taking a lot of time to explain?
Thoughts: I've love having more time to work on my projects; now I need to find a system of support.
More thoughts: my mantra: Easy & Strong—how to keep this present?
Now it’s your turn. You may find yourself rewriting your goals and thoughts. So get ready to scribble a bit.
What are your dreams, written as goals?
What thoughts come up for you?
Hmmmm...what would Owl say?
Friday, February 6, 2009
DAY 2: What Do You Really Want?
This week I had a chat with a dear friend. She was reading a self help book, and diligently doing the exercises to find out what she’s really passionate about. Here’s what’s interesting. I’ve known this woman for five years and every time we meet, she lights up when she talks about her classes & her craft.
So, I said, “Sue, I’m a bit confused. I’ve heard you tell me dozens of times what you really love. Am I mistaken ... but I thought that's what you really wanted?”
Her response: “No. That is what I really love! But if I can’t have this, I want find out what I else I can have. As we talked more, it became clear. By trying to imagine a safe second choice, before she's fully pursued her true passion, her dream felt hollow and, well not worth pursuing.
Within minutes, she said "You're right! Ever since the first class I taught, I knew this is what I wanted. But I'm stuck. I know my beliefs are getting in my way. Plus, everyone is suggesting I do production work and that just doesn't align with my values."
I’ve yet to meet anyone who doesn’t have a dream. But I continually meet people very much like Sue, who either struggle with their beliefs or don’t have a structure to succeed … or both.
As you write, note all the thoughts that come up as you think about it.
EXAMPLE: Dream 1:
Dream: To facilitate groups of college students confused about their career.
Thoughts: I believe there is no money for this work .
Thoughts: I love teens... they are our future.
Thoughts: Every time I work with teens, I get tons of emails from them and their parents, I love it more and more.
EXAMPLE: Dream 2:
Dream: To work with people in career transition to hone their focus.
What are 5 dreams you have that won't be dismissed... no matter how hard you try? Remember to include your thoughts about them.
As you go about your day you might find you have more thoughts. Success begin by getting real with yourself and your dream, so don't be surprised if you find yourself mulling over your thoughts today.
After you write your 5 step back and ask yourself, what do they have in common? You might even ask a couple of friends.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
DAY 1: Create Your Ideal Job/Vocation
One day, I received a call about coaching. After a few minutes of introductions and questions the woman said, “Carolyn, I’ve heard about people creating their own dream career. How do they do that? Can I do that? Today she is celebrating her new job and reclaiming delight in her work.
We are living in a time when organizations and small business are changing so fast that that if you are able to see what is truly needed, and ready to speak up and say so, incredible opportunities await your asking.
So yes, you can create your dream career or dream business. And, there are a few things you will need to consider AND do to achieve your vision and accomplish your goals. I thought that the best way to offer tips and tools would be to offer a snap shot of her four month self-discovery and dream job creation search.
First, she took a TAKE A CANDID SELF INVENTORY
This first phase had two parts; a personal inventory and interviews of others about her.
She began by asking herself questions designed to help her name and frame her core life dreams. We identified times when she had experienced them (and how she felt when she did). We also identified the phases when life distractions overtook her dreams and what occurred as a result.
In the second part, she interviewed ‘key’ people who gave her candid, thoughtful, insight about her core strengths and personal impact. Through these interviews she gained a greater understanding of her personal contribution. .
Throughout the process, again and again, we pushed her to DARE TO DREAM.
As she began to reclaim her desires, she started collecting job descriptions that inspired her. Even on days when she went through her self doubts, she had a literal file, an external reminder, of contribution people were actually making in the world that aligned with her self purpose.
As we begin our journey, toward your dream career I'll invite you to do the same!
With each step, she’d review her core vision. Selectively, she would pursue ONLY the positions that affirmed her intention for her new career. As the interviews turned into negotiations it was critical that she went back to the origins of her work, to reclaim her dream and remember what she needed to feel fulfilled.
And so it shall be with you...
For today ...
Think about a time in your life you felt alive and 'in charge'
What were you doing?What part of you came to life?
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